i'm not prepared for heatbreak

everybody is real smart.  do smart things.  make smart decisions.  living smart lives.  they give me smart advice i can never follow.  im trapped inside a cluster fuck with a bleeding asshole.  in love with a yeast infection that will always reject me.  drink another drink.  salute the sad music that sings of our love that can never bloom.

knife looks more sharp every day.  dream dreams of death every night.  wake in pool of sweat.  chasing after woman in trouble but can never catch.  watch your woman or she will leave you.

should be asleep but can't.  haunting dreams.

swimming in a river of ice water this morning.  walked to get away from thoughts.  picked up cigs and more drink.  sip is stale as my breath.  restart my mood, please, restart my mood.

can't eat my stomach is in knots.  eatin grapes that pile on top of each other near the bottom of my throat.  maybe she will come through that door and they will drop.  so will i.

smoke deep.  smoke strong.  this breath takes days away.  it does not matter when you choose your death.  only one shot to load even though the walk told me the noose is the way to go.  too slow.  too scared.

you'll never take me alive.

Currently Finally We Are No One By Mum see related

Leftovers

Dragons and kids don't mix.  When we turned our heads we ran into a kiss.  So scared and free pretending not to pee, you smiled when my pants were down.  The bathtub is where I layed my head.

Too hard in the car when parked.  So we fleed down the streets where we fell limp inside of me, the theif.

Now branded and banished we landed too far apart.  Only in my dreams is much too far away for me.

I'm still blue in the face with a blackened heart in one place.  I've an aching in my stomach and an itch down below, 'cause I know I'm ready for another go.

Wish we could have sleep next to me where I sleep now.  Would awake and make the dream reality.  I'd steal it too if it made things happy for you.

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Blame it on the moon for taking hold of you and changing who we are it's tearing us apart.  The animal in you, the animal, the animal in you.

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Just a thimble.  Not enough to touch.  Out of reach.  I only like it rough.  Was too much for me to see.  Now I'm giving all this up.  Only in my dreams is much too far away for me.